Church of Norway wedding service

WEDDING

General rules

Matrimony happens when a woman and a man, in the presence of witnesses and under authorised authority (civil or ecclesiastical) declare their vows to each other that they will live together in matrimony, and this is declared to be lawful.

Marriage, according to church order, consists both of a civil as well as an ecclesiastical part. The wedding ceremony, which is legally binding, takes place before God. It is a liturgical ceremony. Individual elements of it, like music, readings and others, must be formulated accordingly.

The ceremony takes place in church or in a chapel which with approval from the Bishop may be used for weddings.

Before the ceremony, the priest – or, in exceptional circumstances, someone else on his/her behalf – has a preparatory talk with the couple.

Hymns and songs must be approved by the priest beforehand, and the music by the cantor/organist.

The forthcoming wedding should be announced beforehand during a service, and the couple should be mentioned in the intercessions.

If a celebration of a Wedding Mass is desired, the liturgy for a Wedding up to and including the last hymn should be followed. This will be the hymn before the Eucharist, followed by the Eucharistic liturgy in the Order of Worship, or one of the alternative Eucharistic liturgies in the Service Book. Alternatively, the Order of Worship may be used. The Introduction of the Order of Worship is then replaced by that of the Order for a Wedding. The Marriage Vows and the Giving of the Rings are placed where the Announcements normally are, and the Intercessions in the Order for a Wedding replace the intercessions in the Order of Worship.
One of the lessons must be from a Gospel.

During the Introduction, the celebration of Wedding Mass is announced, e. g.:

M: Dear (name) and (name). You have come here to (name of church) in order to be married. We are gathered here to rejoice with you. We shall hear your vows to each other and pray for God’s blessing for you and your home. You have also asked to take part in the Eucharist when you start your life together as husband and wife. We will therefore celebrate a Wedding Mass, so that those who wish may join you at the Lord’s Table on this day.

Couples who have been married by civil authority may apply for a service of prayer. See Order of Prayer after a Civil Marriage.

Bells may be rung for about 5 minutes before and after the ceremony.

The Officiant wears a white stole.

THE ORDER FOR A Wedding

Participation of various kinds may be introduced into the ceremony. Wedding guests may participate in the liturgy, and additions to the ceremony may be made in the form of music or readings, if desired combined with lighting of candles. Among the cultural elements there may be openings for elements underlining the ethnic background of the bride and groom. If one party has another denominational background than the Church of Norway, there may be openings for participation from this denomination, after approval from the Bishop. Participation from other denominations as well as cultural elements, these shall be adopted according to the liturgical nature of the wedding ceremony and not be contrary to the theological basis of the Church of Norway.

Elements adding to the liturgy may be placed after part 9 Intercession.

Where the names are mentioned, one can use full name or first name, depending on what is natural in the individual case. In the questions during part 7 The Marriage Vows, full name shall be used.

The readings are taken from the Bible New International Version

1. Prelude/Entrance

Organ music or other suitable music as prelude/entrance.
The bridal couple may process up the nave together to the chancel and may sit together.
If desired, the bridal couple, Maid of Honour and/or the Best Man, representative(s) of the families, officiant and others process into the church.

Vocal or instrumental music may then be performed.

2. Introduction

Either A

M: In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Or B

M: Grace to you, and peace, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Then the bridal couple and the assembly are welcomed with these or similar words:

M: Dear (name) and (name). You have come here to (name of church) in order to be married. We are gathered here to rejoice with you. We shall hear your vows to each other and pray for God’s blessing for you and your home.


Then the Officiant may say

Either A

M: O Lord, how priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast in the abundance of your house;
you give them to drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light. Psalm 36:7-9

Or B
M: Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures for ever.
This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:1, 24

Or C
M: God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16b


3. Hymn


4. Lesson(s)

M: God has created us to live in harmony with him and with each other.
He has ordained that man and woman shall be one, and he has confirmed this fellowship by his blessing.
Marriage is God’s generous gift.
To live together as man and woman is to live in trust and love, to share joy and sorrow
and to faithfully stand by each other until life ends.

God’s word testifies that marriage is holy and inviolable.

It is written in the Book of Genesis:
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
God blessed them and said to them,
“Be fruitful and increase in number;
fill the earth and subdue it.” Genesis 1:27-28a

And our Lord Jesus Christ says:
“Haven’t you read […] that at the beginning the Creator
‘made them male and female’, and said,
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together,
let man not separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

M: Let us hear more from God’s word.
2-4 of the following lessons or other suitable readings, at least one from each of the two Testaments.
The lessons may be read by wedding guests.
Those who shall read, go up to the lectern together.

The bridal couple and assembly remain seated during the lessons.

The final lesson ends like this:
“This is the Word of the Lord.”


5. Hymn
The Hymn may be replaced with appropriate vocal or instrumental music.


6. Address
The Officiant gives an address based on one of the lessons read under part 4 or on another appropriate text from the Bible.



7. The Marriage Vows
M: Come before the altar of the Lord, so that we may hear your vows to each other and pray for God’s blessing on you and your home.

The bridal couple stand before the altar rail.


Either A
M: In the presence of God our Creator and before these witnesses, I ask you (the groom’s full name without title): Will you take (the bride’s full name without title) who stands beside you, as your wife?
Groom: I will.
M: Will you love and honour her and be faithful to her for better, for worse, until death do you part?
Groom: I will.

M: Likewise I ask you, (the bride’s full name without title): Will you take (the groom’s full name without title) who stands beside you as your husband?
Bride: I will.
Will you love and honour him and be faithful to him for better, for worse, until death do you part?
Bride: I will.

M: Then join your hands as a sign of this.

The bride and groom face each other and give each other the right hand.
The Officiant shall lay his/her hand on the joined hands of the bride and groom.

M: In the presence of God and before these witnesses you have promised each other that you will live together in matrimony, and have joined your hands as a sign of this. I therefore declare that you lawfully are husband and wife.


Or B
M: In the presence of God our Creator and before these witnesses, I ask you (the groom’s full name without title): Will you take (the bride’s full name without title) who stands beside you, as your wife?
Groom: I will.
M: Likewise I ask you, (bride’s full name without title): Will you take (the groom’s full name without title) who stands beside you as your husband?
Bride: I will.

M: Now repeat after me.
The groom and bride face each other. They join hands and remain so while they say their vows.
The Officiant reads the vows part by part, then the groom and bride repeat in turn.

O: I take you (name) as my wife/husband.
G/B: I take you (name) as my wife/husband.
O: I will love and honour you
G/B: I will love and honour you
O: and faithfully stay with you for better, for worse
G/B: and faithfully stay with you for better, for worse
O: until death do us part.
G/B: until death do us part.

Then the vows are repeated by the other.
The Officiant shall lay his/her hand on the joined hands of the bride and groom.

O: In the presence of God and before these witnesses you have promised each other that you will live together in matrimony, and have joined your hands as a sign of this. I therefore declare that you lawfully are husband and wife.


Here may follow:

8. Giving of Rings

Either A

O: Now give each other the rings, which you shall wear as a sign of your vows of faithfulness.

Each puts the ring on the other’s finger.


Or B

M: Give each other the rings, which you shall wear as a signs of your vows to each other.
Repeat after me.

The Officiant reads the words, then the groom and briderepeat them in turn.

M: (Name), I give you this ring
G/B: (Name), I give you this ring
M: as a sign of my vows of love and faithfulness.
G/B: as a sign of my vows of love and faithfulness.

The ring is then put on the other’s finger.

Then the giving is repeated in the same way by the other.


9. Intercession

O: Let us pray.

The bride and groom kneel at the altar rail. With the laying on of hands, the Officiant prays for the bridal couple one of the following prayers, ending with The Lord’s Prayer.
If desired, guests may also participate, during the intercession, in the laying on of hands.


I

Either A

M: Merciful God, you who have established marriage, and blessed man and woman, we pray: Let your blessing rest upon (name) and (name) who kneel in your presence. Fill them with your love and build their home in peace. Grant them your grace and strengthen them with your Spirit, so that in times of joy and sadness, they may place their trust in you, be faithful to each other and help each other towards eternal life.




Or B

M: Merciful God, we give you thanks for (name) and (name) and for their love for each other. Bless their life as husband and wife.

Help them keep the vows they have made to each other, so that their marriage may be filled with trust, care and joy.

Grant them the ability and will to build their home in peace, so that it will be a place where [children may grow up in safety and] family and friends may find fellowship.
You are the way, the truth and the life; let them walk in your truth. You forgive and heal; help them forgive each other. You are the source of love; help them and all husbands and wives grow and mature in love.



II
Here can be added a free prayer, if desired combined with lighting of candles.
The assembly may also sing a hymn of prayer (while the bride and groom are kneeling).



III
The Intercession always ends with The Lord’s Prayer.

O: Let us together pray The Lord’s Prayer.

A Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
your will be done;
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

The bride and groom sit.



Here may follow
10. Music/Acts of Symbolism

Wedding guests and others may participate with music, readings or other cultural elements.


11. Hymn

12. The Blessing

Either A

M: facing the assembly:
Let us praise the Lord.

All stand.

ALL: God be praised. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

M: The Lord bless you and keep you,
The Lord make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you,
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you
and give you peace. +

ALL: Amen. Amen. Amen.


Or B

M: facing the assembly:
Receive the Blessing.

All stand.

M: The Lord bless you and keep you,
The Lord make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you,
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you
and give you peace. +

ALL: Amen.

13. Recessional

Organ music or other appropriate music. The bride and groom leave the church together.

More than just a wedding

The wedding service is an important event for both of you, your family and friends. It is the event where you make a committment in the presence of God, each other and the public to be together forever. Some people view it as a bridge to life together.

Before you make such a committment you and your partner will benefit from spending some time preparing not just for the ceremony but also a life of being married. Following are some information and resources to help you:

PREPARE is a resource administered by many pastors, celebrants and marriage counsellors...
Its aims are to help couples:
Explore their strength & growth areas
Strengthen their communication skills
Learn Ten Steps for Resolving Couple Conflict
Explore family-of-origin issues
Develop financial budget & plans
Develop personal, couple & family goals
If you would like more details about how this works and local contacts please contact me at richard.schwedes@lca.org.au

PRE-MARRIAGE COURSES
Many congregations, marriage counsellors and celebrants offer pre marriage courses. These courses are focussed on helping you develop your relationship and encourage you to think about many issues relating to life together.
Many of these courses help couples in the areas of:
understanding the importance of commitment
recognising and appreciating your differences
communication
resolving conflict
spending time together
nurturing your friendship
making each other feel loved
developing a good sexual relationship
importance of talking about your goals, values and dreams
how to grow and change with each other
common marriage stress points
keeping Christ central in your marriage
Ask your pastor about a pre marriage course or contact me on richard.schwedes@lca.org.au
(note there are also course and oportunities for people who are already married and want to strengthen their marriage)

WELS (Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod): a wedding service order

This order of worship celebrates God's gracious gift of marriage. The congregation shares the joy of the bride and groom as they publicly promise lifelong love and faithfulness to each other.

Call to Worship
M: In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Our Lord Jesus Christ came as an invited guest to the wedding at Cana, and with his gracious presence, he brought joy and gladness to those who were there. Jesus is also with us who have gathered in his name to celebrate the Word of God and prayer the marriage of Name and Name. We are assured of God's gracious help and guidance in these words from the Psalms:
Minister: Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
C: His love endures forever.
M: The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love;
C: He is good to all.
M: God is our refuge and strength,
C: An ever-present help in trouble.
M: He is our God forever and ever;
C: He will be our guide even to the end.
M: May God be gracious to us and bless us
C: and make his face shine on us.
M: Loving Father, we are grateful for your goodness in permitting us to gather as the family and friends of Name and Name to share their joy on this special day. Look on them with favor, strengthen their confidence in your firm promises, and assure them of your abiding love. As your Son Jesus graced the wedding at Cana with his presence, so may he be with us who pray in his name.
C: Amen.

Congregational hymns or other music appropriate for worship may be sung here or at other places in the service.

Word of God

LESSONS (Bible readings)

SERMON

Marriage Rite
M: Dear friends: When God in love created the world, he made man and woman in his own image and bonded them together in marriage. Through this blessed union of husband and wife, God established the family, provided for the physical and spiritual welfare of children, and fostered the peace and stability of society.
God intended marriage to bring loving companionship to the people of his world. But because of sin, the joy of marriage was soon overcast with sorrow, and the harmony of family life was shattered by strife. Out of love God sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross to take away the sins of all people. Everyone who believes in Jesus receives forgiveness and is enabled by the Holy Spirit to live in peace and joy.
God's love for you is boundless. He commands you, in response to his love, to love each other. Love is forgiving and enduring. Love shows itself in truth and faithfulness, in thoughtfulness and understanding, in patience and kindness. Marriage furnishes a unique opportunity to put this love into practice.
The pattern for Christian marriage is the intimate union of Christ and his church, which the apostle Paul depicts in Ephesians 5. After urging believers to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ," he makes this application for Christian spouses: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her." It is reverence for Christ on the part of husband and wife that lays the foundation for Christian marriage.
You have come here to be united in marriage, which consists in your mutual consent, sincerely and freely given. You are now invited to declare this intent in the presence of God and these witnesses.

Marriage Promises
M: (to the groom): Name, will you take Name to be your wife? Will you be guided by the counsel and direction God has given in his Word and love your wife as Christ loved the Church? Will you be faithful to her, cherish her, support her, and help her in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? If so, answer, "I will."
G: I will.
M: (to the bride): Name, will you take Name to be your husband? Will you be guided by the counsel and direction God has given in his Word and submit to your husband as the Church submits to Christ? Will you be faithful to him, cherish him, support him, and help him in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? If so, answer, "I will."
B: I will.
M: Join your right hands, and make your promises to each other:
The groom and bride will say in turn:
I, Name, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take you, Name, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be faithful to you as long as we both shall live.

Exchange of Rings
M: Exchange rings as a symbol of the lifelong commitment and abiding love which you as husband and wife have promised each other.
The groom and bride will say in turn:
Name, receive this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.

Declaration of Marriage
M: By their promises, Name and Name have bound themselves together in marriage before God and these witnesses. Therefore, I declare that they are husband and wife, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one separate.

Marriage Blessing
M: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit preserve you in faithfulness, strengthen you in love, and guide you to life's end.

HYMN

Prayers
other prayers may be said
M: Let us pray:
Eternal God, source of love, help Name and Name to fulfill the promises they have made here today and to reflect your steadfast love in their love for each other. Give them kindness and patience, affection and understanding, happiness and contentment. Use their family and friends to support them in difficult days, that their love for each other may continue to grow as long as they live.
Gracious Father, in your goodness you bring people together into families and enrich their lives with abundant blessings. Renew the love of husbands and wives, parents and children, that they may strengthen and support each other on the way that leads to our heavenly home, through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
C: Amen.

Lord's Prayer
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those
who sin against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power,
and the glory are yours,
now and forever. Amen

Blessing
M: The Lord bless you and keep youThe Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you.The Lord look on you with favor and give you peace.
C. Amen

An ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) service wedding order

Entrance

The assembly stands as the ministers and the wedding group enter.
Music—hymn, song, psalm, instrumental music—may accompany the entrance.

Greeting

The presiding minister and the assembly greet each other.
M:The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God,
and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
C:And also with you.

INTRODUCTION

The minister may introduce the rite with these or similar words:

A
M: Dear friends: We have come together in the presence of God to witness the marriage of name and name, to surround them with our prayers, and to share in their joy.

The scriptures teach us that the bond and covenant of marriage is a gift of God, a holy mystery in which two become one flesh, an image of the union of Christ and the church. As name and name give themselves to each other today, we remember that at Cana in Galilee our Lord Jesus Christ made the wedding feast a sign of God’s reign of love.

Let us enter into this celebration confident that, through the Holy Spirit, Christ is present with us now also; we pray that this couple may fulfill God’s purpose for the whole of their lives.

B
M: Name and Name have come to make their marriage vows in the presence of God and of this congregation. Let us now witness their promise to each other and surround them with our prayers, giving thanks to God for the gift of marriage and asking God’s blessing upon them, so that they may be strengthened for their life together and nurtured in their love for God.

We rejoice that marriage is given by God, blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ, and sustained by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, let marriage be held in honor by all.

C
M: The Lord God in goodness created us male and female, and by the gift of marriage founded human community in a joy that begins now and is brought to perfection in the life to come.

Because of sin, our age-old rebellion, the gladness of marriage can be overcast and the gift of the family can become a burden. But because God, who established marriage, continues still to bless it with abundant and ever-present support, we can be sustained in our weariness and have our joy restored.

D
M: Beloved people of God, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the covenant of love and fidelity name and name are to make with each other.

The union of two persons in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual, for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and that their love may be a blessing to all whom they encounter. This solemn covenant is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and with commitment to seek God’s will for their lives.



Declaration of Intention

The minister addresses the couple in these or similar words, asking each person in turn:

A
M: Name, will you have name to be your wife/husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?
Response:
B/G: I will.

The minister may address the assembly in these or similar words.
M: Will you, the families of name and name, give your love and blessing to this new family?
C: We will.

The minister says to the assembly:
M: Will all of you, by God’s grace, do everything in your power to uphold and care for these two persons in their life together?
C: We will.


B
M: Name, will you receive name as your wife/husband and bind yourself to her/him in the covenant of marriage? Will you promise to love and honor her/him in true devotion, to rejoice with her/him in times of gladness, to grieve with her/him as long as you both shall live?
Response: I will, with the help of God.

C
M: Name, living in the promise of God, joined in Christ in your baptism; will you give yourself to name in love and faithfulness? Will you share your life with her/him in joy and in sorrow, in health and in sickness, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, and will you be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?
Response: I will, with the help of God.

Assembly

B
The minister says to the assembly:
M: Families, friends, and all those gathered here with name and name, will you promise to support and care for them in their life together, to sustain and pray for them in times of trouble, to give thanks with them in times of joy, to honor the bonds of their covenant, and to affirm the love of god reflected in their lives?
C: We will, with the help of God.


C

When pastorally appropriate, one or both of these questions may be used when children are brought into the family of those to be married.

The minister may ask the couple:
Name and name, will you be faithful and loving parents to name/s?
Response: We will, with the help of God.

The minister may ask the children:
Name/s, will you help name and name in their marriage?
Response: We will with the help of God.


Prayer of the Day

The presiding minister leads the following or another prayer of the day.
Let us pray.

A
Eternal God, our creator and redeemer, as you gladdened the wedding at Cana in Galilee by the presence of your Son, so bring your joy to this wedding by his presence now. Look in favor upon name and name and grant that they, rejoicing in all your gifts, may at length celebrate the unending marriage feast with Christ our Lord, who lives, and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.
C: Amen.

B
Let us pray. Eternal God, our creator and redeemer, as you gladdened the wedding at Cana in Galilee by the presence of your Son, so bring your joy to this wedding by his presence now. Look in favor upon name and name and grant that they, rejoicing in all your gifts, may at length celebrate the unending marriage feast with Christ our Lord, one God, now and forever.
C: Amen.

Readings
The assembly is seated. Two or three scripture readings are proclaimed. When the service includes communion, the last is a reading from the gospels. Responses may include a psalm in response to a reading from the Old Testament, a sung acclamation preceding the reading of the gospel, or other appropriate hymns, songs, and psalms.

Sermon
Silence for reflection follows.

Hymn of the Day
A hymn of the day may be sung.


Vows
The couple may join hands. Each promises faithfulness to the other in these or similar words.
OPTION A: I take you, name, to be my
I take you; name, to be my wife/husband from this day forward,
to join with you and share all that is to come,
and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

OPTION B: In the presence of God
In the presence of God and this community,
I, name, take you, name, to be my wife/husband;
to have and to hold from this day forward,
in joy and in sorrow, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn vow.

C
I take you; name, to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us

D
I, name, give myself to you, name. By the grace of god, I promise to support and care for you. In the love of Christ, I promise to love and cherish you. With the Spirit’s help, I promise to be faithful to you, as long as we both shall live.

E
I take you; name, to be my wife/husband, and these things I promise you: I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will share my life with you, through the best and worst of all that is to come, until death parts us.


Giving of Rings
When rings are to be exchanged, they may be placed on the service book of the minister or held by an assisting minister.

The presiding minister may say:
A
Bless these rings, O God; may they who wear them live in love and fidelity, and continue in your service all the days of their lives, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

B
Gracious God, by your blessing let these rings be to name and name a symbol of their unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vows and covenant they have made this day, through Jesus Christ. Amen.

C
We give thanks, O God of grace, for your love and faithful to your people. Bless these rings, that they may be symbols of the enduring commitment name and name have made to each other; through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.

The couple may exchange rings with these or similar words.
OPTION A: This ring as a sign
Name, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.

OPTION B: This ring as a symbol
Name, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow.
With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you,
in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.


Acclamation
The presiding minister addresses the assembly.
M: Name and name, by their promises before God and in the presence of this assembly, have joined themselves to one another as husband and wife.
Those whom God has joined together let no one separate.
C: Amen. Thanks be to God.

The assembly may offer acclamation with applause. A sung acclamation, hymn, or other music may follow.

Other symbols of marriage may be given or used at this time.

Marriage Blessing
The couple may kneel. The presiding minister may extend a hand over the couple while praying for God's blessing in the following or similar words.
A
Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in sending Jesus Christ to come among us, to be born of a human mother, and to endure the cross for our sake, that we may have abundance of life.
By the power of your Holy Spirit pour out the abundance of your blessing on name and name. Defend them from every enemy. Lead them into all peace. Let your love be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads.
Bless them so that their lives together may bear witness to your love. Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their life and in their death.
Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that table where your saints feast forever in your heavenly home, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives, and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.
Amen.

B
We give you thanks, most gracious God, for in your great love you created us male and female and made the union of husband and wife an image of the covenant between you and your people. You sent Jesus Christ to come among us, making your love visible in him, to bring new life to the world.
Send you Holy Spirit to pour out the abundance of your blessing on name and name, who have this day given themselves to each other in marriage.
Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their life and in their death. Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads.
Bless them so that all may see in their lives together within the community of your people a vision of your kingdom on earth. And finally, in the fullness of time, welcome them into the glory of your presence.
Through your Son Jesus Christ with the Holy Spirit in your holy church all honor and glory is yours, almighty Father, now and forever. Amen.

B
When a prayer for children is desired, the following words may be included in the blessing immediately before “Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts”: Give them the gift and heritage of children in accordance with your will, and make their home a haven of peace.

C
When children are brought into the family of the newly married couple, the following words may be included in the blessing immediately before “Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts”: You have given them a gift and heritage of children; make their home a haven of peace.

D
Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in sending Jesus Christ to come among us, to be born of a human mother, and to make the way of the cross to be the way of life.
By the power of your Holy Spirit, pour out your abundant blessing upon name and name. Defend them from every enemy. Lead them from every enemy. Lead them into all peace. Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads.
Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in the sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their life and in their death.
Finally in your mercy, bring them to that table where your saints feast forever in your banquet; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, now and forever. Amen.

E
The Lord God, who created our first parents and established them in marriage, establish and sustain you, that you may find delight in each other and grow in holy love until your life’s end. Amen.

Parents or others may speak additional words of blessing and encouragement at this time.

Prayers of Intercession

The assembly stands. Prayers of intercession for the world and its needs may be prayed.

Each petition may end:
M: Gracious and faithful God,
C: hear our prayer.

A
M: Seeing how gently God has loved us, let us pray for the whole world.
For the Christian community everywhere; for the life and ministry of the baptized, and for pastors, leaders, and servant of the Gospel, that the church may be the risen body of Christ in the world. O God, source of all life,
C: hear our prayers.
M: For all communities everywhere; for our nation, for all those who govern and for all in authority, and for justice and peace throughout the world. O God, source of all life,
C: hear our prayers.
M: For those we love easily, and for those with whom we struggle, for those different from us and for those familiar to us, that we might be instruments of God’s peace. O god, source of all life,
C: hear our prayers.
M: For those who suffer in any way, and those who are lonely, for the sick, the dying, and those who are bereaved, for those who are poor, hungry, homeless, or unemployed, for the victims of violence, hatred, and intolerance. O God, source of all life,
C: hear our prayers.
M: For all those who are bound to us in love; for our families, friends, and neighbors, remembering also all who have gone before us (especially name/s). O God, source of all life,
C: hear our prayers.
M: Creator of all, you make us in your image and likeness and fill us with everlasting life. Hear the prayers of your people and grant to name and name grace to live in unity and joy all the days of their lives. We ask this through Jesus Christ, in the Holy Spirit, to whom, with you, one God, be praise forever and ever.
C: Amen.

The presiding minister concludes the prayers, and the assembly responds
Amen.

A service with communion continues with the peace. After the presiding minister greets the assembly, the couple may greet each other with the kiss of peace, and the assembly may greet one another in peace.

PRAYER AFTER COMMUNION
M: Loving God, we thank you that you have fed us in this holy meal, united us with Christ, and given us a foretaste of the marriage feast of the Lamb. So strengthen us in your service that our daily lives may show our thanks, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
C: Amen.


Lord's Prayer

A service without communion continues as follows.
OPTION A: Our Father in heaven
C: Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those
who sin against us?
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power,
and the glory are yours,
now and forever. Amen

OPTION B: Our Father, who art in heaven
C: Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever. Amen


Peace
If it has not been included earlier in the service, the greeting of peace may be shared.
M: The peace of Christ be with you always.
C: And also with you.

The couple may greet one another with the kiss of peace. All present may greet one another with a gesture of peace, and may say, "Peace be with you," or similar words.

Blessing

The presiding minister proclaims God's blessing in these or similar words.
OPTION A: The blessed and holy Trinity
M: The blessed and holy Trinity
make you strong in faith and love,
defend you on every side,
and guide you in truth and peace,
now and forever.
C: Amen.

OPTION B: God almighty send you light and truth
M: God Almighty send you light and truth
to keep you all the days of your life.
The hand of God protect you;
the holy angels accompany you;
and the blessing of almighty God,
the Father, the + Son, and the Holy Spirit,
be with you now and forever.
C: Amen.

C
M: The blessed and holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love, defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace, now and forever.
C: Amen.

Dismissal
An assisting minister may send the assembly forth in these or similar words.
M: Go in peace. Serve the Lord.
C: Thanks be to God.

A hymn may be sung or instrumental music played as the wedding group and the ministers depart.

A Lutheran Church Missouri Synod worship order

Service of Marriage

1. Pre-service, Mothers are escorted into the sanctuary and light the unity candle (optional)
2. Ringing of the Bells
3. Pastor and Men of the Wedding Party enter the Sanctuary from the Vestry.
4. Processional Music
5. Entrance of the Bridal Party
6. Entrance of the Crucifer (all rise)
7. Entrance of the Bride (& Escort)

P: In the Name of the Father and of the + Son and of the Holy Spirit.
C: Amen

P: We are gathered here in the sight of God and of his Church to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in holy marriage. This is an honorable estate, which God himself has instituted and blessed, and by which he gives us a picture of the very communion of Christ and his bride, the Church. God has both established and sanctified marriage and has promised to bless therein all who love and trust in him and who seek to give him their faithful worship and service, for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy, for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity, and, when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into inadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.

P: Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
A: Her mother and I (or another answer as appropriate to the circumstances)

P: Inasmuch as you purpose to enter into the holy estate of marriage that is to be held in honor by all, it becomes you to hear the Word of God concerning it. . .

8. The congregation is seated for the reading of the Scriptures, usually one reading each from the Old Testament and Epistle.
9. Old Testament Reading
10. Epistle Reading
11. The Congregation Rises for the Reading of the Gospel
12. The Gospel Reading
13. A wedding address (sermon) may follow. A hymn may be sung
14. The Bride hands her flowers to an attendant. The Pastor asks the groom:

P: _Name_______, will you have this woman to be your wife, to live with her in holy marriage according to the Word of God? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, be husband to her as long as you both shall live?

A: I Will

15. Pastor asks the Bride:

P: _Name_______, will you have this man to be your husband, to live with him in holy marriage according to the Word of God? Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, [obey him], and keep him in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, be wife to him as long as you both shall live?

A: I Will

16. The Bride and Groom join hands. The groom and repeats after the Pastor:
I, _Name_______, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take you, _Name_______, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death parts us, and I pledge you my faithfulness.

17. The bride and repeats after the Pastor:
I, _Name_______, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take you, _Name_______, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death parts us, and I pledge you my faithfulness.

18. The bride and bridegroom exchange rings, saying:
Receive this ring as a pledge and token of wedded love and faithfulness.

19. The Pastor leads the bride and groom to the altar. He wraps his stole around the ring hands of the bride and groom, saying:

P: Grant your blessing, O Lord, to your servants _Name_______ and _Name_______ that they may be ever mindful of their solemn pledge and, trusting in your mercy, abound evermore in love all their days; through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

C: AMEN.

20. The bride and bridegroom kneel, and the Pastor says:
P: Now that _Name_______ and _Name_______ have consented together in holy marriage and have given themselves to each other by their solemn pledges, and have declared the same before God and these witnesses, I pronounce them to be husband and wife, in the name of the Father and of the + Son and of the Holy Spirit.

What God has joined together, let man not separate.
C: AMEN.

P: The almighty and gracious God abundantly grant you his favor and sanctify and bless you with the blessing given our first parents in paradise that you may please him in both body and soul and live together in holy love until you life’s end.

C: AMEN.

21. If a unity candle is to be used it is lit now. A musical offering (solo, etc.) may be made during the lighting of the unity candle.
22. The Bride and Groom return to the front of the chancel. The attendant returns the flowers.

P: Let us pray.
Almighty, everlasting God, our heavenly Father, grant that by your blessing _Name_______ and _Name_______ may live together according to your Word and promise. Strengthen them in faithfulness and love toward each other. Sustain and defend them in all trial and temptation. Help them to live in faith toward you in the communion of your holy Church and in loving service to each other that they may ever enjoy your heavenly blessing; through Jesus Christ, your Son, our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

C: AMEN.

P: Let us join together all of the petitions of our hearts and pray for the Lord's guidance and peace as we pray the prayer He taught us:

The Lord's Prayer said together

P: The eternal God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, grant you his Holy Spirit, be with you and richly bless you now and forever.
C: AMEN.

23. Pastor invites the Groom to kiss the bride.
24. Pastor introduces the Bride and Groom to the congregation by their married name.

A book: the Lutheran Handbook on Marriage

The Lutheran Handbook on Marriage
In this book you will find:

The Lutheran Model for Marriage and Its Biblical Forerunners
The Five Stages of the Luther/von Bora Marriage
Katharina von Bora's Herring Barrel Escape from the Convent
Five Noteworthy Things Martin Luther Said about Marriage
Portrait of Martin and Katie
Five Faithful Couples in the Bible
Five Unfaithful Couples in the Bible
The Five Most Interesting Things Paul Said about Marriage
The Three Most Interesting Things the Song of Solomon Says Dating & Courtship
Ten Rules for the First Date
The Top Ten Attributes to Look for in a Spouse
How to Probe for Your Prospective Spouse's True Religious Views
The Five Most Effective Ways to Pop the Question The Wedding
Anatomy of a Lutheran Wedding
How to Plan a Lutheran Wedding
How to Select Your Maid of Honor or Best Man
How to Make Mutually Satisfactory Decisions about the Wedding
The Five Most Overused Wedding Bible Readings
Five Fresh Bible Wedding Readings
The Five Most Overused Wedding Hymns
Five Fresh Wedding Hymns
How to Light the Unity Candle without Setting the Bride's Hair on Fire
How to Respond When the Groomsman or Bridesmaid Faints
Five Common Wedding Ceremony Emergencies and How to Handle Them The First Year
How to Train Your Spouse
How to Merge Household Possessions
How to Merge Household Finances
How to Share a Car
How to Maintain Your Own Friendships
The Five Most Important Things to Remember When Choosing Your First Home
How to Decorate a Lutheran Home
How to Choose a Church Home Together
How to Establish a Routine of Daily Devotions
How to Keep Christ at the Center of a Marriage
How to Negotiate Where You Go for the Holidays
How to Prevent In-Law Encroachment
How to Prepare for an In-Law Visit
How to Respond to an In-Law's Nosy Question
Seven Common Moments in Which You Should Think before You Speak
How to Identify an Ill Spouse
Four Biblical Passages to Quote When You Call Your Spouse by an Old Flame's Name
How to Make Your Marriage a Springboard for Ministry
How to Use Your Spiritual Gifts in Your Marriage
How to Forge a Strong Second Marriage
How to Parent Your Spouse's Children Early Years
How to Manage a Household Calendar
How to Start and Maintain Your Own Holiday Traditions
How to Choose Your Child's Godparents
How to Get Your Family to Church on Sunday Morning
How to Pack a Diaper Bag for Worship
The Top Five Criteria for Evaluating the Church Nursery before Putting Your Kids in There
How to Handle Your Child's Non-Lutheran Friendships
How to Adopt a Child
How to Enjoy a Successful Marriage without Children Middle Years
How to Survive the Seven-Year Itch
How to Date Your Spouse and Keep Things Spicy
How to Balance Work, Home, and Church
How to Preserve Your Marriage through Your Kids' Adolescent Years
Ten Tips for Surviving the "Sandwich Generation" Years
How to Handle a Career Change
How to Recognize a Midlife Crisis
How to Maintain Your Marriage as You and Your Spouse Change Later Years
Ten Effective Ways to Dislodge Your Adult Children from Your Home
How to Survive after Your Kids Leave Home
How to Spoil Your Grandchildren Rotten
How to Grandparent Other Peoples' Kids
How to Survive Your Spouse?s Retirement
How to Retire without Ruining Your Marriage
Seven Rewarding Ways to Spend Time after Retirement
How to Support Your Spouse through a Serious Illness
How to Honor Your Spouse?s Memory
How to Plan Your Own Funeral
How to Leave a Legacy Money, Sex, & Other Fractious Issues
How to Navigate an Interdenominational or Interfaith Marriage
How to Get Your Spouse to Accompany You to Church
How to Plan Your Lutheran Vacation
How to Resolve Marital Conflict
Common Marriage "Stressors" and How to Manage Them as a Team
How to Talk to Your Spouse about Money
How to Write a Will (to Prevent a Posthumous Fight over Your Assets)
How to Write Living Wills Together
How to Plan for Retirement
How to Talk to Your Spouse about Sex
The Top Five Ways to Strengthen Marital Communication The Top Ten In-Law Issues and How to Deal with Them
How to Be Gracious to Your Spouse?s Friends Even When You Don't Really Like Them
How to Avoid Being Triangulated by the Kids
How to Decide Who Does What around the House
How to Share the TV Remote Control

A wedding sermon by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Whilst he was prison during World War II Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote a sermon for his niece and then fiance. A number of people have mentioned they have gained something from this sermon, especially in relation to their own marriage.

Just a word of caution as you read the sermon, remember sermon's have a purpose of bringing God's word into a specific situation and context. So as you read this sermon remember it was written in 1943, for a particular couple by someone who knew them.

In the sermon Bonhoeffer highlights 5 important points:
"God is guiding your marriage"
"God makes your marriage indissoluble"
"God establishes a rule of life by which you can live together in wedlock" (Col. 3:18, 19)
"God has laid on marriage a blessing and a burden," that of children
"God gives you Christ as the foundation of your marriage."

A wedding sermon from a prison cell written in 1943

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It is right and proper for a bride and bridegroom to welcome and celebrate their wedding day with a unique sense of triumph. When all the difficulties, obstacles, hindrances, doubts, and misgivings have been, not made light of, but honestly faced and overcome - and it is certainly better not to take everything for granted – then both parties have indeed achieved the most important triumph of their lives. With the ‘Yes’ that they have said to each other, they have by their free choice given a new direction to their lives; they have cheerfully and confidently defied all the uncertainties and hesitations with which, as they know, a lifelong partnership between two people is faced; and by their own free and responsible action they have conquered a new land to live in. Every wedding must be an occasion of joy that human beings can do such great things, that they have been given such immense freedom and power to take the helm in their life’s journey. The children of the earth are rightly proud of being allowed to take a hand in shaping their own destinies, and something of this pride must contribute to the happiness of a bride and bridegroom. We ought not to be in too much of a hurry here to speak piously of God’s will and guidance. It is obvious, and it should not be ignored, that it is your own very human wills that are at work here, celebrating their triumph; the course that you are taking at the outset is one that you have chosen for yourselves; what you have done and are doing is not in the first place, something religious, but something quite secular. So you yourselves, and you alone, bear the responsibility for what no one can take from you; or, to put it more exactly, you, Eberhard, have all the responsibility for the success of your venture, with all the happiness that such responsibility involves, and you, Renate, will help your husband and make it easy for him to bear that responsibility, and find your happiness in that. Unless you can boldly say today: ‘That is our resolve, our love, our way’, you are taking refuge in false piety. ‘Iron and steel may pass away, but our love shall abide for ever.’ That desire for earthly bliss, which you want to find in one another, and in which to quote the medieval song, one is the comfort of the other both in body and in soul – that desire is justified before God and man.

Certainly you two, of all people, have every reason to look back with special thankfulness on your lives up to now. The beautiful things and joys of life have been showered on you, you have succeeded in everything, and you have been surrounded by love and friendship. Your ways have, for the most part, been smoothed before you took them, and you have always been able to count on the support of your families and friends. Everyone has wished you well, and now it has been given to you to find each other and to reach the goal of your desires. You yourselves know that no one can create and assume such a life from his own strength, but that what is given to one is withheld from another; and that is what we call God’s guidance. So today, however much you rejoice that you have reached your goal, you will be just as thankful that God’s will and God’s way have brought you here; and however confidently you accept responsibility for your action today, you may and will put it today with equal confidence into God’s hands.

As God today adds His ‘Yes’ to your ‘Yes’, as He confirms your will with His will, and as He allows you, and approves of, your triumph and rejoicing and pride, He makes you at the same time instruments of His will and purpose both for yourselves and for others. In His unfathomable condescension God does add His ‘Yes’ to yours; but by doing so, He creates out of your love something quite new – the holy estate of matrimony.

God is guiding your marriage. Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God’s holy ordinance, through which He wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to His glory, and calls into His kingdom. In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more that something personal – it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man. As you first gave the ring to one another and have now received it a second time from the hand of the pastor, so love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God. As high as God is above man, so high are the sanctity the rights, and the promise of marriage above the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of love. It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.

God makes your marriage indissoluble. ‘What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder’ (Matthew 19:6). God joins you together in marriage; it is His act, not yours. Do not confound your love for one another with God. God makes your marriage indissoluble, and protects it from every danger that may threaten it from within and without; He wills to be the guarantor of its indissolubility. It is a blessed thing to know that no power on earth, no temptation, no human frailty can dissolve what God holds together; indeed, anyone who knows that may say confidently: What God has joined together, can no man put asunder. Free from all anxiety that is always a characteristic of love, you can now say to each other with complete and confident assurance: We can never lose each other now; by the will of God we belong to each other till death.

God establishes a rule of life by which you can live together in wedlock. ‘Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives’ (Colossians 3:18-19). With your marriage you are founding a home. That needs a rule of life, and this rule of life is so important that God establishes it Himself, because without it everything would get out of joint. You may order your home as you like, except in one thing: the wife is to be subject to her husband, and the husband is to love his wife. In this way God gives to husband and wife the honor that is due to each. The wife’s honor is to serve the husband, to be a ‘help meet for him’, as the creation story has it (Genesis 2:18); and the husband’s honor is to love his wife with all his heart. He will ‘leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife’ (Matthew 19:5), and will ‘love her as his own flesh’. A wife who wants to dominate her husband dishonors herself and him, just as a husband who does not love his wife as he should dishonors himself and her; and both dishonor the glory of God that is meant to rest on the estate of matrimony. It is an unhealthy state of affairs when the wife’s ambition is to be like the husband, and the husband regards the wife merely as the plaything of his own lust for power and license; and is a sign of social disintegration when the wife’s service is felt to be degrading or beneath her dignity, and when the husband who is faithful to his wife is looked on as a weakling or even a fool.

The place where God has put the wife is the husband’s home. Most people have forgotten nowadays what a home can mean, though some of us have come to realize it as never before. It is a kingdom of its own in the midst of the world, a stronghold amid life’s storms and stresses, a refuge, even a sanctuary. It is not founded on the shifting sands of outward or public life, but it has its peace in God, for it is God who gives it its special meaning and value, its own nature and privilege, its own destiny and dignity. It is an ordinance of God in the world, the place in which – whatever may happen in the world – peace, quietness, joy, love, purity, discipline, respect, obedience, tradition, and with it all, happiness may dwell. It is the wife’s calling and her happiness, to build up for her husband this world with the world and to do her life’s work there. How happy she is if she realizes how great and rich a task and destiny she has. Not novelty, but permanence; not change, but constancy; not noisiness, but peace; not words, but deeds; not commands, but persuasion; not desire, but possession – and all these things inspired and sustained by her love for her husband - that is the wife’s kingdom. In the Book of Proverbs we read (31:11ff.): ‘The heart of her husband trust in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands… She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and tasks for her maidens… She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the need… Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come… Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her… Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’ Again and again the Bible praises, as the supreme earthly happiness, the fortune of a man who finds a true, or as the Bible put it, a ‘virtuous’ or ‘wise’ woman. ‘She is far more precious that jewels’ (Proverb 31:10). ‘A virtuous woman is the crown of her husband’ (Proverb 12:4). But the Bible speaks just as frankly of the mischief that a perverse, ‘foolish’ woman brings on her husband and her home.

Now when the husband is called ‘the head of the wife’, and it goes on to say ‘as Christ is the head of the church’ (Ephesians 5:23), something of the divine splendor is reflected in our earthly relationships, and this reflection we should recognize and honor. The dignity that is here ascribed to the man lies, not in any capacities or qualities of his own, but in the office conferred on him by his marriage. The wife should see her husband clothed in this dignity. But for him it is a supreme responsibility. As the head, it is he who is responsible for his wife, for their marriage, and for their home. On him falls the care and protection of the family; he represents it to the outside world; he is its mainstay and comfort; he is the master of the house, who exhorts, punishes, helps, and comforts, and stands for it before God. It is a good thing, for it is a divine ordinance when the wife honors the husband for his office’s sake, and when the husband properly performs the duties of his office. The husband and wife who acknowledge and observe God’s ordinance are ‘wise’, but those who think to replace it by another of their own devising are ‘foolish’.

God has laid on marriage a blessing and a burden. The blessing is the promise of children. God allows man to share in His continual work of creation; but it is always God Himself who blesses marriage with children. ‘Children are a heritage of the Lord’ (Psalm 127:3), and they should be acknowledge as such. It is from God that parents receive their children, and it is to God that they should lead them. Parents therefore have divine authority in respect of their children. Luther speaks of the ‘golden chain’ with which God invests parents; and scripture adds to the fifth commandment the special promise of long life on earth. Since men live on earth, God has given them a lasting reminder that this earth stands under the curse of sin and is not itself the ultimate reality. Over the destiny of woman and of man lies the dark shadow of a word of God’s wrath, a burden from God, which they must carry. The woman must bear her children in pain, and in providing for his family the man must reap many thorns and thistles, and labor in the sweat of his brow. This burden should cause both man and wife to call on God, and should remind them of their eternal destiny in his kingdom. Earthly society is only the beginning of the heavenly society, the earthly home an image of the heavenly home, the earthly family a symbol of the fatherhood of God over all men, for they are His children.

God gives you Christ as the foundation of your marriage. ‘Welcome one another, therefore, as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God’ (Romans 15:7). In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don’t insist on your rights, don’t blame each other, don’t judge or condemn each other, don’t fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts.

Your home will be a pastor’s home. From it, light and strength will have to go out into many other homes. The pastor undertakes a life of special discipline. The husband must bear alone much that belongs to his ministry, since the ministry is his and must, for the sake of God, be a silent one. So his love for his wife must be all the greater, and he must be all the more concerned to share with her what he may. And as a result the wife will be able to lighten the husband’s burden all the more, stand by his side, give him help. As fallible human beings, how can they live and work in Christ’s community if they do not persevere in constant prayer and forgiveness, if they do not help each other to live as Christians? The right beginning and daily practice are very important indeed.

From the first day of your wedding till the last the rule must be: ‘Welcome one another… for the glory of God’.

That is God’s word for your marriage. Thank Him for it; thank Him for leading you thus far; ask Him to establish your marriage, to confirm it, sanctify it, and preserve it. So your marriage will be ‘for the praise of His glory’. Amen.

Some Bible readings for your Wedding

There is no strict rule about how many or which bible readings you choose, this will depend on the pastor, yourselves and your situation and even your families.

Some helpful points to choosing bible readings:

• Before making a decision on bible readings seek input from your pastor.
• Think about what you and the pastor are expecting the wedding ceremony to say to the congregation and you as a couple now and in the future.
• Remember there are different English translations of the bible. Some are easier to understand than others, and some are closer to the original Hebrew, Aramiac and Greek manuscripts of scripture. Some congregations insist on particular translations being used, others don's. One thing that is important is that when you choose the bible reading, also indicate which translation it is being read from. To view some of the translations simply visit http://www.biblegateway.com/ or http://www.bible.crosswalk.com/ The links below will use the NIV translation (for a gender inclusive translation try the TNIV, for a more contemporary translation try the New Living Translation or the Message Bible)

OLD TESTAMENT

Genesis 1:26-31

Genesis 2:18-24

Genesis 24:50,51,58–67

Ecclesiastes 9:7–10

Song of Songs chapter 2

Song of Songs chapter 3

Song of Songs 8:6-7

Isaiah 63:7–9

Jeremiah 31:31-32a,33-34a

PSALMS
Psalm 23

Psalm 33:1-9, 20-22

Psalm 34

Psalm 46

Psalm 100

Psalm 103

Psalm 112

Psalm 117

Psalm 127

Psalm 128

Psalm 145

NEW TESTAMENT

Romans 8:31b-35,37-39

Romans 12:9-18

Romans 15:5–7

1 Corinthians 6:13c-15a,17-20

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Ephesians 3:14-19

Ephesians 5:1-2,21-33

Colossians 3:12-17

1 Peter 3:1-9

1 John 3:18-24

1 John 4:7-12

Revelation 19:1, 5-9a


GOSPEL

Matthew 5:1-12a

Matthew 5:13-16

Matthew 7:21, 24-29

Matthew 19:3-6

Matthew 22:35-40

Mark 10:6-9

John 2:1-11

John 15:9-12

John 15:12-16

John 17:20-26

Traditional/Classical Wedding Hymns

As man and woman we were made (BA Wren 1936+) TIS645
Come Holy Spirit, Lord of grace (C Coffin 1749) TIS403
God beyond glory, gracious and holy (JL Bell 1949+) TIS678
Gracious heavenly Father (AER Brauer 1949) lhs585
Happy the home that welcomes you, Lord Jesus (KJP Spitta 1859) TIS581

Hear us now, our God and Father (HN Huxhold 1922+, J Newton 1807) lhs892

I to the hills will lift my eyes (Scottish Psalter 1650) TIS76

Jesus, lead thou on (Nl Zinzendorrf 1760) lhs341

Lead us, heavenly Father, lead us (J Edmeston 1867) lhs397
Lord Jesus who didst consecrate (BC Boyce 1824) lhs586
Lord, who at Cana's wedding feast (A Thrupp 1853) lhs585, TLH620
Love divine all loves excelling () lhs164, TIS217, TLH351

May we be one (R Mann 1981 ) lhs800
Morning has broken (E Farjeon 1965) TIS156
Now thank we all our God (M Rinckart 1649) lhs437, TIS106, TLH36
O Father, all creating (J Ellerton 1893) lhs583, TLH621
O perfect Love, all human thought transcending (DF Gurney 1932) lhs584, TIS603, TLH623

Our Father, by whose name (FB Tucker 1895+) lhs 893
Our God be gracious unto us (PC Blake 1929+) TIS37
Praise to the Lord, the almighty, the King of creation (J Neander 1680) lhs442, TLH36
Praise my soul the King of heaven (HF Lyte 1847) lhs465, TIS134,
Take thou my hand and lead me (J Hausmann 1901 ) lhs301
That man a godly life may live TLH287
The Lord bless you and keep you (Aaronic Blessing) TIS776
The Lord's my shepherd I'll not want (Scottish Psalter 1650) lhs387, TIS10, TLH436
The King of love my shepherd is (H W Baker 1877) lhs391, TLH431
The voice that breathedth over Eden TLH622
When love is found and hope comes home (BA Wren 1936+) TIS654,
When the light of first creation (SF Ludgater 1937+) TIS698
Where'er i go, whate'er my task (P Fleming 1640) lhs579
Your love, O God has called us here (RE Schulz-Widmar 1944+) TIS664

Legend
lhs= Lutheran hymnal with supplement, available from Lutheran Church of Australia, any congregation of the Lutheran Church of Australia or via http://www.acresources.com.au/product_info.php/products_id/211
TIS=Together in Song, Australian hymn book II, an ecumenical hymn book produced in cooperation with Anglican, Churches of Christ, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Roman Catholic and Uniting churches in Australia and published by Harper Collins Religious. So it is available from many congregations associated with the above denominations or via http://www.acresources.com.au/product_info.php/products_id/190
TLH=The Lutheran Hymnal 1941

In the future i will endeavour to add more hymns and songs, (plus also watch out for a more contemporary selection) and hymn numbers from other hymns books produced elsewhere (eg. USA), plus hopefully links to basic tunes... (if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to leave them as comments below)

Lutheran Church of Australia's: Lutheran Marriage Wedding Service

The following is a marriage rite (with suggested bible readings), prepared by the Commission on Worship, Lutheran Church of Australia.

There is always some freedom to add or change things in the wedding service, however not everything. For the benefit of yourself, your partner and the pastor it is always important that you work with the Pastor on your wedding service and your preparation for marriage. (Some of the parts of the wedding service are required by law, other parts are there because they reflect a biblical understanding of marriage, and some can be altered)

Marriage

INTRODUCTION

ENTRANCE
EITHER
The minister(s) may meet the wedding party at the church entrance. The following may be said.
The peace of the Lord be with you.
Amen.
The procession forms and enters the church, led by the minister(s).
OR
The minister, together with the bridegroom and his attendant(s), may enter the church from the vestry. The minister stands at the altar, and the bridegroom and attendant(s) stand at the entrance to the chancel facing the altar. They all turn to meet the bridal party as it forms a procession from the narthex to the chancel.

HYMN
The congregation may stand and sing an appropriate hymn, or appropriate music may be played, as the procession enters.

OPENING
EITHER
God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.
Amen.
OR
In the name of the Father and of the Son † and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

PRESENTATION
The parents may present the couple to be married. The minister asks the presenters to stand, if they are not already in position, and says:
Who presents N and N to be married?
I/We do.

HYMN
If no processional hymn has been sung, a hymn may be sung.

LITURGY OF THE WORD

PRAYER
Let us pray for N and N who have come to be married.
One of the following prayers or another suitable prayer is said.
EITHER
Eternal God, our creator and redeemer: As you have established marriage and desire to make it holy, pour out your Spirit on N and N, so that they may live faithfully in the state of marriage to your glory and for their good; through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
OR
Lord Jesus Christ, as you were present at the wedding at Cana and blessed it, be present at this wedding and bless N and N. Fill them with your joy in their life together, and grant that they may finally celebrate with you the marriage feast that has no end.
Amen.
OR
Faithful God, since you have established marriage, unite N and N as they make their vows publicly to each other, and help them to remain faithful throughout their lives; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

PSALM
A psalm may be sung or said. It may be said antiphonally by the minister and the congregation. The following psalms are suitable: Psalms 23; 37:3–7; 100; 117; 127; 128.

READINGS
One or more readings may be read by the minister or a lector.
Hear the word of the Lord as it is written in —–.
The following readings are suitable: Genesis 1:26–31; Genesis 2:18–24; Genesis 24:50,51,58–67; Ecclesiastes 9:7–10; Song of Songs 2:10–13; Song of Songs 8:6,7; Isaiah 63:7–9; John 2:1–11; John 15:7–12; John 15:9–17; Romans 8:37–39; Romans 12:1,2,9–12; Romans 15:5–7; 1 Corinthians 12:31 – 13:13; Ephesians 5:31–33; Colossians 3:12–19; 1 John 4:7–11,19.
After the reading:
This is the word of the Lord.
Thanks be to God.

ADDRESS

HYMN

THE MARRIAGE

FOUNDATION AND PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE
The minister reads some or all of the following passages to the congregation and particularly to the couple to be married.
N and N: God established marriage as the basis of family life, and for the wellbeing of human society. He said: 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner'.
God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it'. God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good.
Our Lord Jesus Christ said: Haven't you read that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female', and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no-one separate.
The apostle Paul says to Christian couples: Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies.
So then, N and N, our Lord promises to bless those who honour his purpose for marriage and remain faithful to each other in it.

DECLARATION OF INTENT
The minister says one of the following to the man.
EITHER
I therefore ask you: N, will you have N as your wife, to live together faithfully in marriage?
Yes, I will.
OR
I therefore ask you: N, will you have N as your wife, to live together, as God has ordained, in the state of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?
Yes, I will.
The minister says one of the following to the woman.
EITHER
N, will you have N as your husband, to live together faithfully in marriage?
Yes, I will.
OR
N, will you have N as your husband, to live together, as God has ordained, in the state of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him, as long as you both shall live?
Yes, I will.

VOWS
N and N, join your right hands and say after me/exchange your vows.
The man
EITHER
I, N,
in the presence of God and these witnesses,
take you, N, to be my wife;
and I promise to be faithful to you
as long as we live.
OR
I, N,
in the presence of God,
take you, N, to be my wife;
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
so long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn vow.
The woman
EITHER
I, N,
in the presence of God and these witnesses,
take you, N, to be my husband;
and I promise to be faithful to you
as long as we live.
OR
I, N,
in the presence of God,
take you, N, to be my husband;
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
so long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn vow.

EXCHANGE OF RINGS
If a wedding ring is to be given (or rings exchanged), the minister receives it (them) and gives it (them) to the man (the man and the woman in turn) to be put on the fourth finger of the partner's left hand.
Take this ring and say after me:
EITHER
(N,) Receive this ring
as a pledge and token
of wedded love and faithfulness.
OR
(N,) I give you this ring
as a sign of our marriage
and the vows we have made today.

DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE
Turn to each other and join your right hands.
The minister may place his right hand on their hands.
He says to the congregation:
Since N and N have promised themselves to each other before God and in the presence of us all, I, as a servant of God and by the authority of the Commonwealth of Australia, declare them to be husband and wife. What God has joined together, let no-one separate.
The bridegroom may raise the bride's veil.

AFFIRMATION BY PARENTS
The parents of the couple may come forward to greet them.
Do you, parents/N and N, give your blessing to this marriage?
We give our blessing to N and N.

BLESSING AND PRAYERS

BLESSING OF COUPLE
The minister goes to the altar. The man and woman follow him and kneel. The minister lays his hands on them and says one of the following.
EITHER
Live together in faith and love, so that your marriage may reflect the union of Christ with his bride the church. And the blessing of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit †, be with you always.
Amen.
OR
God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit bless, protect, and enrich you † in your married life.
Amen.

PRAYER
One of the following prayers or another prayer is said.
EITHER
Let us pray.
Eternal God, our creator and preserver: Be with N and N, so that they may keep the promises made to each other, and may always live together in peace and love; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
OR
Let us pray.
Gracious God, our heavenly Father, as you have united N and N in marriage: Help them to live together according to your word. Strengthen them in faithfulness and love toward each other. Give them the heritage of children. Make them wise and loving parents, so that they may bring up their children to know, love, and serve you. (Help them to accept and love N, N, and N [children/grandchildren of previous marriage], so that they may grow together as a family.) Watch over them in the joys and troubles of their life. Keep them in the fellowship of your church. Strengthen their faith in you and encourage them to serve each other; through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.
Amen.
OR
Let us pray. (As we pray, respond to each prayer with the words 'Lord, hear our prayer'.)
Lord God, our ever-present helper and counsellor: Be with N and N, who have promised each other lifelong love and faithfulness in marriage.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, hear our prayer.
Guide and strengthen them by your Holy Spirit to fulfil this promise.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, hear our prayer.
Make them of one mind, and help them to live together in harmony with each other.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, hear our prayer.
Make their home your dwelling-place, and teach them to ask you for whatever they need.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, hear our prayer.
Give them joy in their work and let your blessing rest upon it.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, hear our prayer.
Make them ready to ask and receive forgiveness from each other.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, hear our prayer.
When their life on earth is over, bring them to your eternal home; through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

LORD'S PRAYER
The minister may lay his hands on the couple as the congregation says:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours
now and forever. Amen.
The man and woman stand.

HYMN

CONCLUSION

BLESSING
EITHER
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit †, be with you all.
Amen.
OR
(May) God, who gives patience and encouragement, help you to live in harmony as you follow Christ Jesus, so that together you may praise God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ; and the blessing of almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit †, be with you always.
Amen.

RECESSION
The bridal party leaves the sanctuary for the signing of the register.
When the party returns, the minister may say the following or similar words.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr and Mrs N.
The congregation may greet the couple with applause.

Any necessary announcements may be made before the bridal party leaves the church.